DIFFICULT   CONVERSATIONS

 

 

“Real, intense, and transformational conversation: have you experienced it? These are

the dialogues that we do not want to have because of fear and anger and the dialogues

that we need to have because of fear and anger. Those two emotions work together to

create walls between us.”

 

“We are in a time when conversation is not only difficult but also scary: the stakes seem

higher. We feel that we have something to lose and that conversation is a space where

we are vulnerable to that loss. At the same time, many of are steaming! We want to

“win” our conversations. Suddenly, each moment becomes a win-lose debate and the

emotions that got us there are never shared.”

 

“Here are my suggestions as you start difficult conversations:

 

1.   Practice listening and asking questions without inserting your own personal

      opinion.

 

2.   Give the person you disagree with the space to share and feel heard, before

      you share your own opinion.

 

3.   Share honestly. Do not undermine your own passion as a participant in

      the conversation.

 

4.   Use a facilitator: someone who is trained in taking a neutral position.

      Facilitators know how to ask the difficult questions, help you all listen, and

      navigate conflicts.”

 

 

(Excerpts from  non-copyrighted “Fear and Anger Unearthed through Dialogue” by Carly Cubit, 

dialogue facilitator and trainer.)

Restorative Practices

Restorative Practice:

The CBDRC is embarking on an exciting program introducing Restorative Practices into the Moses Lake School District.  This is a partnership with the Moses Lake School District to find new and better ways to handle discipline in the school district.  We at the CBDRC are excited to help out our community by helping to reduce the amount of truancy, students on suspension and break the school to juvenile justice system trend.  Students that have had multiple suspensions during their school career 70% of the time wind up in the juvenile justice system. 

The Moses Lake School District is a futuristic looking school district with the well being of their students at heart.  They are looking for ways to improve the experience of students in their system.  The residents in this community should be proud of the school district and the quality of education the students are receiving. 

What the CBDRC and the School District need at this time is the support of the community in helping to reach out to the students.  With Restorative Practice we will be looking to help the students that commit harm to others to accept their responsibilities for that harm.  For the victims of that harm to have a voice in dealing with the incident.  Most of all it will allow both the person that created the harm and the victim to come up with a permanent solution to the conflict.  When people are involved in a solution they are more likely to follow through and honor that agreement. 

It is an exciting time that we are in with many opportunities to make a better world.  Please join with us in doing all we can to make Moses Lake a better place to live.  Please contact us at the CBDRC if you would like to be a part of this project. 

Thank you,
Clint Opheikens
CBDRC   

You to can be of service:

Our country is currently electing public officials to look after the common good.

It isn’t only people in elected office, however, who provide important public service. Every town is blessed with persons who serve their community by volunteering to provide transportation to a doctor’s office, tutor a student, work in a food bank, serve on non-profit Board of Directors, coach a soccer team, raise money for an animal shelter, the list goes on and on.   

As a member of the Board of Directors of the Columbia Basin Dispute Resolution Center, I invite you to learn about the opportunities our non-profit, community service organization offers you to contribute to the health of our community. 

We provide MEDIATION services for divorcing couples who don’t agree on a parenting plan, neighbors upset with each other, co-workers not getting along in the workplace, adult children disagreeing on elder care for their parent, etc.  One of our most important community services is training school personnel to help students deal responsibly with their hurtful conflicts. One of the most important community services we offer is called “Restorative Justice”, training school personnel to help students confront and resolve conflict in their relationships.

If you believe our training and mediation services contribute to the health and wellbeing of our community, please contact us to learn how you, as a volunteer, can become part of our work. Call us at: 509-760-0706 and watch at www.cbdrc.org

Leo Haemmelmann, President,

Board of Directors, Columbia Basis Dispute Resolution Center