“Real, intense, and transformational conversation: have you experienced it? These are
the dialogues that we do not want to have because of fear and anger and the dialogues
that we need to have because of fear and anger. Those two emotions work together to
create walls between us.”
“We are in a time when conversation is not only difficult but also scary: the stakes seem
higher. We feel that we have something to lose and that conversation is a space where
we are vulnerable to that loss. At the same time, many of are steaming! We want to
“win” our conversations. Suddenly, each moment becomes a win-lose debate and the
emotions that got us there are never shared.”
“Here are my suggestions as you start difficult conversations:
1. Practice listening and asking questions without inserting your own personal
opinion.
2. Give the person you disagree with the space to share and feel heard, before
you share your own opinion.
3. Share honestly. Do not undermine your own passion as a participant in
the conversation.
4. Use a facilitator: someone who is trained in taking a neutral position.
Facilitators know how to ask the difficult questions, help you all listen, and
navigate conflicts.”
(Excerpts from non-copyrighted “Fear and Anger Unearthed through Dialogue” by Carly Cubit,
dialogue facilitator and trainer.)
