When you look at the definition of the word ‘conflict’, you
see that it can be used as either a verb or a noun. The definition of the word, when used as a
verb, is defined as “to come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory,
at variance, or in opposition; clash; to fight or contend; do battle. In considering this definition, it would seem
that people are in various degrees of conflict 70% of the time. With all the conflict and controversy that is
going on in the world today, it is great knowledge to know that because this
conflict is an action word, we can change the outcome.
One can’t listen to or read the news today without
recognizing various segments of society being in contention with one
another. We talk about tolerance and acceptance
bet we define those as “Just agree with me because I am not going to see your
side” or “I am smarter than you and I know what is best for you so do it my way”. We are eliminating the person that thinks for
themselves of makes their own decisions.
Our society is acting like a bunch of elitists who think that other’s opinions
are inferior and so we are not supposed to listen to them and make up our own
minds. We are expected to let someone
else do our thinking for us and just sit back and let things happen to us.
Conflict is a verb and therefore it is an action. As an action, we can choose to do something
about conflict. When each of us were
born, most were given the ability to talk.
If not, we have learned to communicate in other ways to get things that
we want and need. With that ability to
communicate, each of us has a way to work at our conflicts. Here at the Columbia Basin Dispute Resolution
Center, we have found that Mediation is that ability to work out our conflicts through
talking to each other. Yes, there are
road blocks that get in the way but they can be worked around. What the world needs today is to start
listening to the other side. To stop
yelling out their side and see that the other side of the conflict has some
good points as well. When we listen and
work together we can come up with solutions.
They may not be what we originally thought they would be, but they will
be a compromise or blending of ideas where both sides give up something for the
good of all. The key is to listen with
an open mind and do what is best for all concerned.
Our society was built on the concept that everyone’s voice
mattered and we should all be listened to.
It was then our responsibility to find a way to do what was best for all
without imposing our will on others. Remember this the next time you find
yourself in conflict so you can listen and find the ability to solve conflicts.
